The following text
is an edited exerpt from a talk by Patrick Sweeney given at
a meditation program entitled "Yoga & Meditation"
on November 15, 2002, in Ojai, California.
Meditation Practice
The Good News and the Bad
News
The basic confidence of our practice is the fundamental understanding
that the true nature of our mind, the true nature of our heart,
is unobstructed. It's like space, completely open. It's
not just a dead space, but it is an intelligent, vibrant,
alive and responsive space. It's able to respond dynamically
to the world.
The main problem that human beings face is that we have fallen
into a state of habitual ignorance of that spaciousness, and
we have lost our capacity to experience ourselves and our
world without distortion. This habit energy does not just
go away because we want it to; in fact, unless met properly,
it persists and increases. Our way of life as practitioners
of the buddhadharma and Shambhala dharma is to continually
create an environment where we can meet ourselves and meet
reality courageously and fearlessly.
Shamatha Meditation
Sitting meditation is the environment where the courage, the
compassion, the clarity and the insightfulness of our basic
intelligence meets the fear-driven or fear-based momentum
of our habit energy. Through meditation, we start to be encouraged
and we gain a sense of confidence that we can actually work
with our mind. The meditation technique of shamatha literally
means dwelling in peace. This peace is what comes with the
synchronization of being completely engaged, and completely
present, right now.
When we sit down to meditate, we encounter the momentum of
our habit energy in the form of thoughts, storylines and emotional
reactivity. We need a way to work with our minds that will
allow this confused momentum to relax. The only way that our
habit energy can exhaust itself is by being exposed to a space
where it is neither rejected, nor accepted. The habit energy
thrives by either being resisted aggressively, or by being
seduced and loved. In the space of shamatha our confusion
is given no fertile ground in which it can thrive. It's
given space, and in that space, it's simply allowed
to die.
Shamatha meditation is the environment where it is possible
to glimpse the emptiness of the contents of our minds. Emptiness
in this case means recognizing that the thoughts, concepts,
prejudices and emotions that are the essence of our confusion
are not solid and real. They have no permanent, continuous
nature. They arise, dwell, and dissolve, and in this process
are revealed to lack the solid existence that we, in our confusion,
grant them.
The Seed of Emptiness
Once one glimpses the emptiness of something, one is no longer
controlled or seduced by it, no longer at its mercy. It's
like when children find out that their father really is Santa
Claus. There's some kind of a fundamental shift that
occurs in their minds. Similarly, when we find out through
the practice of shamatha that we are not our thoughts, that
we do not have to act on every one of our thoughts, that we
do not have to be taken on a roller coaster ride by each and
every one of our emotions, then something starts to shift
inside of us. And in this tradition we call that shift freedom.
That freedom is the essence of our being, our buddha nature.
The starting point of our practice is the ability to perceive
choice. In the deep awareness of what is actually true that
results from meditation, we witness the arising, the dwelling,
and the passing away of a variety of story lines, thoughts
and emotions. We also see that we choose to hook into them
and believe that they are real. Initially, the major thrust
of our practice is to allow this habit energy of believing
all of our story lines to slow down. In this endeavor, shamata
practice is a very powerful tool. Perhaps for the first time,
when practicing shamatha, we discover an environment where
there is absolutely no expectation to be other than who we
are.
An Unconditional Friendship
with Oneself
The purpose of the practice is to appreciate completely what
we are. The point is not to judge or reject the habit energy,
but to accept it fully. In that acceptance, we start to get
some leverage and we discover the capacity to have a more
spacious relationship with ourselves. This is the key to meditation:
making an unconditional friendship with oneself.
It's all right that we have the same issues after all
these years. The question, however, is how are we working
with them?
When we come to meditation, the activity is not to become
a different person. We've spent most of our lives ignoring
what we are, living up to expectations and ideals that don't
have anything to do with how we really are. The purpose of
meditation is to allow ourselves to experience fully what
is actually there, not the stories that we've been told, not
the perfectionism we have bought into, and not the American
dream that's portrayed through movies, television, and advertisements.
The Process of Familiarization
So what is actually there? What does it mean to have a human
body? What does it mean to have energy? What does it mean
to have a heart? What does it mean to have a mind? These questions
aren't answered conceptually, they're answered
intuitively, through the practice of meditation, through an
ongoing relationship with spiritual practice. These seats
that we sit on are referred to as gomdens. Gom means "to
make like family", den means seat. Thus, we have a seat
of familiarization. Sitting on these seats, we become completely
familiar with our confusion. At the same time, we also become
aware of our awakened nature.
The technique is simply like a framework, or a net, that
catches our body and our energy and our mind when it tries
to take flight from what's present. What's present
within the context of this technique is body. Not just any
old way, but in a very particular way. Similarly, your breath
is the natural out-breath. This particular framework becomes
the context within which we discover nowness, the awareness
of the present moment, over and over again. And that discovery
of nowness starts to cut through the momentum of our habit
energy, like a laser beam. It cuts through all sorts of confused
and inessential material. This quality of awareness that starts
to wake up is actually more powerful than the momentum of
the habit energy. It's able to penetrate the core of
that confused energy, cut through all sorts of dramas and
allow those dramas to unknot themselves. That's our
practice.
We try to follow the technique without any goal-seeking mind,
without any ambition. We simply remain faithful to the spirit
of the practice and to the technique. We don't place
our mind in some pre-arranged, conceptualized spiritual state.
We come back to the simplicity of the present moment, to the
technique and to the nakedness of our mind, over and over
again.
Facing Fear
Thus, the essence of the path of meditation is to come right
up against our fear. Usually, we try to avoid the places that
we are afraid of. Instead, we can go directly toward those
places. Then, when we come to our edge, we see that it is
not as solid as we thought it was, not as real as we thought
it was. In fact, most of the time the fear we experience is
nothing other than preference. What we begin to see is that
our fears are self-created. And by moving towards these fears,
we start to find a quality of courage, being able to face
our own mind. In just that little thing, something starts
to wake up, and we can go deeper. We find a stronger, or more
stable capacity to be with ourselves. That's the journey.
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