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Discussion (continued)
PS: Thank you. [Applause]
I don't know that tonight is the night, but I do think the issue of sexuality in the teacher/student relationship needs to be addressed. I think as a community we can't put a firewall between the Vidyadhara and the Vajra Regent. We can't demonize one, and not look at the other. The issue of sexuality in the teacher/student relationship was something that was part of our Vajradhatu culture. Actually it might be very shocking to say now, but it was almost wanted, or desired. From the perspective of 2005, given everything that's occurred in the last 15 years, there are a lot of things that we could say about it. There's been a lot of analysis that's been applied to it and there's been a lot of work to protect people from this aspect of the student/teacher relationship. I think there's a lot of prajna that we need to apply to it. At the same time, I don't think, again, that we can legislate. I don't think we can set a party line. I don't think that even you and I can, having had similar experiences.
Both of us were given an opportunity to work with two issues. One was to get over our own naiveté, and our tendency to give ourselves away inappropriately. And the other was to surrender our projections. And that is a very co-emergent edge. That was the fine line that I found myself walking on with the Vajra Regent until the day he died. He allowed me to have my own intelligence and to say “No”, when I meant no, and to say “Yes”, when I meant yes. At the same time, there was always a front visualization, so to speak, that was saying, “Who's saying no? Who's saying yes? Why? What are your assumptions? What are your fears? What are your difficulties?” Yes it's a very difficult issue, sexuality in the teacher/student relationship. But we can’t ignore the fact that the Vidyadhara actually employed it skillfully, and that the Regent, as his dharma heir, inherited that play! You could say a lot of things about how he might have fucked it up. Fine. But, he inherited a way of working with people's confusion and projections. A lot of prajna needs to be applied to how we work with it. I'm very happy you brought it up.
Richard [Reoch], this is an issue that you and I have talked a lot about, because part of this rapprochement process was to identify a path of purification, so to speak, whereby the community as a whole could revisit these fundamental issues. Issues of secrecy in the teacher/student relationship. The issue of sexuality in the teacher/student relationship. Not to demonize, but to bring prajna. If we look at the fundamental archetypes of our lineage, Guru Rinpoche had two primary students, both of whom were his consorts. The Vidyadhara was a mahasiddha who, as people in this room experienced, used every aspect of phenomena to ripen people's confusion. We can't ignore that. We can't exist in some sort of lukewarm, apologetic crap about it. We really can't. That's the charge that got put into me by the Vajra Regent. And yet, “no” is “no”. If you don't have the capacity to do it, “no” is “no”. That has to be ensured. Anyway, let this be the beginning of a dialogue about it, okay? [Applause]
I mention it because it's an issue that can't be stonewalled. We have to bring it out of the closet. We have to. We have to look at it skillfully. I've been living in California for a long time. I've been circulating around the Bay Area, and I've met and become friends to some degree with Jack Kornfield, and I've gone into different sanghas who have different ways of dealing with this issue. On the Hinayana extreme, you make rules of conduct that are absolutely beyond reproach. And at the other extreme, you err on the side of crazy wisdom, right? I think our sangha has taken the extreme path to the middle. [Laughter] An intelligent middle. That's what we have to work with in our inquiry.
Participant: Could you just finish one thing? When I heard that you were coming, and I spoke with the gentleman about the stupa, I walked up to the stupa. And I walked. And I walked around it, and around it, and around it, and around it ... and then I sat and I just prayed, for healing in our community. I think it's important that we have some kind of vision of how to visualize ... if I feel a connection with you because you bring the Vajra Regent to me, and also I have a connection with Sakyong Mipham Rinpoche, how am I going to work with that? So I need some visualization to work with it. And again, that's to get rid of the ignorance, because I don't want to be ignorant any more.
PS: Yeah. Well, much to his credit, President Reoch, I feel, in the letter of agreement, laid out how we can go forward with this process of purification and inquiry so that we can intelligently see the Vajra Regent's legacy and look intelligently at aspects of the Vidyadhara's legacy, where perhaps people don't want to go any more.
I think we need to conclude now. A couple of things. One is, I'd like to address the fact that the stupa that was being built up here for the Vajra Regent in a sense was aborted. The project was altered. First of all, I want to thank Mark Smith, whose devotion to the Vajra Regent I feel is impeccable. The project was born out of pure heart, pure vision. I also want to say that the Vajra Regent didn't want to have a stupa, particularly. I asked him three times, and each time he said, “No, please don't do that. Remember the legacy of Milarepa who said, if you want to actually follow my lineage, practice. Don't build thingies.” However, as a sacred object, the stupa is a very powerful thing. We do have a stupa in Ojai. We did it because we couldn't not do it. I feel that the Sakyong and Lady Diana must decide how to best include everyone's devotion in this stupa. And that's my aspiration. That's my intention. It would be my request to them that they consider that there is, as I've been putting it throughout the evening, a multitude of subjectivities when it comes to the question of devotion. Perhaps it is unwise from their perspective to make that stupa singularly for the Vajra Regent. I surrender to their wisdom, in terms of what is going to be best for the Kingdom. I don't have an agenda personally. But I do want to acknowledge that I feel the project was born out of pure heart, and that it was sustained through the work of many individuals, including the Vajra Regent's son, Michael, who is here now. And that process of building the stupa, as we know from the Vajrayana teachings, creates a certain amount of power and merit. That merit needs to be dedicated somehow. That merit needs to be acknowledged. That merit needs to be allowed to move forward somehow. So my aspiration is that we figure out how to do that, so that there can be a wide net of inclusion.
Participant: Let's finish it. I want to donate right now, okay? I didn't get a chance to speak, but perhaps I will. Can I do that?
PS: If you like, why not?
Participant: The Vajra Regent touched me deeply throughout the years. I could feel his presence before he even entered the room. Maybe I'm very psychic, I don't know. He had a tremendous amount of enlightened activity working for him all the time, I know that. And I know his devotion was there. He took a leap that nobody else was able to take. And that's why Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche picked him. He may not have always done enlightened things and he may not be perhaps an enlightened being, but he had enlightened activity and he had the power of the lineage behind him, nevertheless. And just as Patrick was saying, our own main teacher had a lot of people question his morals and standards. We have a lot of concepts about things. Trungpa Rinpoche was like being around razor blades for me. He didn't want people to love him, he wanted people to love the teachings. The teachings are what prevail even beyond the picture of the guru, in a sense. The teachings are what are most important. And the Vajra Regent taught many thousands of people. I have my concepts. And I pretty well didn't like what I saw. But truth lies in everything, not just what we think. I remember the last time I saw the Vajra Regent, on life support, hearing his breath go in and out. I heard his breath going through a life support machine. I didn't know about the other aspect of what happened afterwards. But I did feel this. At least for me there was a resolution inside that all that other stuff dissolved. And I think for him too. It felt like he had a resolution. So I took a walk on the land one day and I was just walking around, and Bill Sheffel told me he had a power spot up there by the Vajra Regent's stupa. I just took a walk, I didn't know where I was going. I walked down this road and pretty soon, there was the stupa, the Vajra Regent's stupa. I was very touched. I also noticed, it's very unfinished. So ... let's finish it. And I'm glad you're here.
PS: Thank you.
Participant: I think we have enough warfare going on in the world. We don't need it within our own community. [Applause] And thank you for being part of the Kingdom of Shambhala. [Applause]
RR: So, we're all in a mandala which has a curfew. We're all violating it. [Laughter] And I'll get into a lot of trouble as a result. So if it's alright with you, before we draw to a close, I'd just like to suggest that we practice together, just for a brief minute, so that everything that's been expressed both audibly and silently can settle.
[Group shamatha practice for a few minutes.]
PS [Reading]: “Arousing love, mercy and compassion for beings of this dark age, we should reflect and realize that we have divided the world into us and them, friend and foe. From lack of confidence in our basic goodness, we have created a schism that continually bleeds. This separation creates disharmony in our mind and body. Now is the time to heal this wound. In this degenerate time, our mind has become like a rock. We hold as our basic being, aggravation, pride and conceit. This dark age stems from lack of love and compassion. It has turned our mind against us. And therefore we have little joy. It does not have to be like this. It should not be like this. In our nature it is not like this. Therefore, we must shatter this rock of resentment and self-preservation. We must take our genuine seat as warriors, proclaiming love and compassion throughout the Kingdom.”
[Dedication of Merit]
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